Pornography is nothing new, but the Internet has taken it’s usage to a whole new level. Access to pornography has never been easier, and it turns out that believers are not immune to its addictive allure.
The material you find in this resource kit is not intended to be a scholarly paper on the rise of porn usage, nor is it meant to provide the reader with an exhaustive list of pertinent Biblical passages. Rather, its only purpose is to provide help to those who suffer from addiction to pornography.
As a brother and former CYC member who found himself caught up a vicious cycle of use, shame, repression, and back to use, I would like to share with you some key steps on my journey out of the destructive pattern of pornography addiction. Before doing anything else, pray.
1. Choose an Accountability Partner
If you are anything like me, your habit is unknown to those around you. Secrecy will intensify your shame and further fuel the fire. Find someone or a handful of people you trust, confide in them your problem, and ask that they be there for you and pray for you. Check-in with them regularly, and ask that they do the same with you.
2. Install a Filter Program and Place Your Computer in a Public Area of Your Home
There are many software packages on the market that will block out pornographic web sites.
• Safe Eyes
• BSafe Internet Filter
Purchase one and have your Accountability Partner set the password. SafeEyes even has a feature that allows a friend to view a list of the websites you have visited. This is not a total solution, but a simple way to help break the pattern. The Bible is clear that source of sin is internal, not external. However, distancing yourself from the stimulus can help give you room to work on the issues of your heart. each of these programs has different features/advantages, so you may need to do a little research when choosing the one that is best for you. More information on each filter program is included in the Resource Kit. If you live with others, I would also recommend moving your computer to a “public” area in your home. You will be less tempted to view pornography, if your roommate or family member can see what you are doing.
3. Find a Key Verse
In my experience, resisting pornography is more difficult when lustful thoughts have filled my mind throughout the day. Finding a key biblical passage that I call to mind in the exact moment that lustful thinking begins has proven to be a good preventative measure. This is especially helpful when I come across inevitable visual stimuli throughout the day such as a billboards, commercials, or women wearing provocative clothing.
4. Pursue Intimacy with God
I found that pornography addiction is a symptom, not the problem itself. The underlying problem is my lack of closeness with God. I seek to replace Him with an idol – sex – in order to dull the pain of my alienation from Him. This fake form of intimacy only leaves me lonelier than before I indulged in it. Therefore, I seek Him with all my heart. In the moment of temptation, I talk to myself about the difference between fake and true intimacy, and turn to Him for help and true intimacy.
5. What the Resource Hopes to Accomplish
Again, the purpose of this kit is to help you. In my experience, guilt tripping you about how much God hates pornography will not help you change. You know he hates it: that’s why you are reading this in the first place. Furthermore, I find that intense feelings of shame, while driving the behavior underground for a short time, eventually lead me back to acting out in desperation. Instead, turning to the God who I know loves me is the right approach.